


while i'm alive

by pepsipink



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Pillow Talk, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 04:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9367085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepsipink/pseuds/pepsipink
Summary: Doing reckless things was easier when he wasn't in love.





	

**Author's Note:**

> back w/ the ultimate rarepair lmao
> 
> takes place in a kh3 au where the whole gangs together & aqua actually gets to fight along side sora & friends (including lea) because let me dream - they'd all be so much FUN together. lea & aqua would totally mesh well together being the Adult Friends imo like u just gotta trust me they'd have a good dynamic
> 
> as a side note, it's not specified here but p much assume that in all my kh fic, axel/lea is a transman - hence the tag. 
> 
> (as another side note i will personally fist fight tetsuya nomura if i have to see axel die one more goddamn time &/or if aqua does not get a happy ending i will hit him with my car i swear like even if im 60 by the time kh3 comes out i will stick to my word i will be his worst nightmare)

“ _When all of this is over – I want to do this right. I want to be with you._ ”

Those words kept him awake at night. God, and he was such a dumbass too – he’d do anything reckless if it meant keeping his friends on top of the game. He wanted them to be safe, to come out of this battle triumphant. Doing reckless things was easier when he wasn’t in love.

He still wanted to be the cool, kind of crazy but admirable big brother his friends saw him as. He had every intention of staying that way – but now if he did anything _real_ big and put his life in jeopardy; there was someone who would be _ruined_ by it.

Aqua was an adult, someone completely capable of handling herself. He wasn’t implying that she needed him to keep on living, but he was sure that being around to love her would be a nice bonus. She didn’t have it easy – for so long. He didn’t want to give her a taste of this beautiful, consensual, loving relationship if all he was going to do was take it away by pulling some stupid stunt.

He was strong – powerful.

But he had to be stronger, he couldn’t let his life get cut short by throwing himself out there on the battlefield.

And _god_ …

He wanted a future with her too.

He can’t sleep, he thinks about what it’s going to be like to wake up to her every morning. He wants to take her on dates and stay up all night with her while they look at the stars.

“Is everything alright… Lea?”

Lea looks down, immediately spotting a sleepy Aqua, trying to push herself up out of bed. He’s quick to adjust, gently holding her arm to stop her in her tracks, coaxing her back underneath the blankets.

“Shh – I’m fine.” He whispers, sliding into bed with her, his hand pushing her bangs from her face, smoothing down her wild bed-head. “Just woke up – out of nowhere, yunno? I’m going back to bed.”

“You didn’t have another nightmare, did you?”

Aqua’s voice is sincere. The countless times Lea had woken up, haunted by memories of his past, reliving all of the terrible things he had suffered through as a child, as a nobody; Aqua had always been there to coax him out of it. She held him close, letting him soak in her embrace until he felt ready to sleep again.

He was surrounded by this new positivity that he was hardly used to. Even now, the fact that she was ready to comfort him without even batting an eye, he could hardly think straight.

Lea shakes his head, laying back against the pillows, meeting her tired gaze as her big blue eyes read into his as to try and figure out a new puzzle she’s been given.

“I’m fine, princess.” His voice is as quiet as he can manage, trying to sound genuine. “I’m okay.”

She nods, inching closer to him, his warmth radiating around her. He lets her into his embrace, pulling her close to his chest. She breathes in deeply, resting her cheek against his collarbone.

“We’re gonna have to talk eventually.” She mumbles. “The more you hold in your feelings, the more it’ll eat away at you.”

She was right – he knew she was right, but she was half asleep, and he wasn’t thinking straight.

“Can I put it off just a little longer? Yunno, when we’re both conscious.”

“You’re conscious. I can be conscious.” Aqua yawns, rolling onto her back. “I don’t like when you lay awake. I can tell when you’re not sleeping.”

“You’re good.” He closes his eyes, “It’s really nothing. Just the usual insomnia.”

“Need me to cast a sleep spell on you?”

“Hah – your spell is the entire reason I’m awake.”

Aqua gives a sleepy giggle, turning her gaze towards him. He looks exhausted, like he hadn’t slept in _days_ really. He opens his eyes to meet hers, an overflow of emotion hidden within. She can’t tell what he’s feeling, but whatever it is, it’s a lot.

“C’mon tiger, I’m serious.” She props herself up, letting a hand rest on his chest. “We’re almost at the end. I know you’re worried – you’re a terrible liar.”

He can’t help but laugh, knowing that disagreeing with her would only dig himself into a deeper hole.

“I guess I am pretty anxious.” He admits, averting his gaze. “I just want everything to go smoothly. Being with you after all of this is all I’ve been able to think about.”

“I’m flattered that you like me this much.” She says, rubbing his chest gently. “Do you like me enough to not pull some stupid stunt, though.”

Lea chuckles, taking her hand into his. He kisses the top of her hand, holding it against his cheek after.

That was the question he was afraid of being asked. He cared about her, and because he cared about her, he was willing to put himself in danger. He had come to the conclusion that it was simply part of his nature, but Aqua would totally kick his ass if he tried anything like that and came out alive.

He feels her temperature drop when he doesn’t give her an answer, surely stressing her out more than she needed.

“I’m going to come out of this alive.” His voice is stern, emerald eyes locking onto hers. “We’re going to get our happy ending.”

“Lea…”

“I promise, Aqua.” He says, “I’m not going to leave you alone.”

Aqua is quiet, sitting up in bed. She gazes down at her boyfriend, her palm still pressed to his cheek. His eyes don’t break contact – he was a terrible liar, unable to keep a straight face if he knew he wasn’t telling the truth – the fact that he hadn’t looked away meant a whole lot. More than he probably knew.

He pushes himself up shortly after, grasping her hand in his. His grip is hardly steady, shaking as he holds onto her.

He presses her hand to his chest, holding it firmly against the fabric of his tanktop. She flinches, staring at where he’s placed her, she feels her anxiety worsen.

“Do you feel that?”

Aqua breaks free of her trance, looking up into Lea’s eyes once he speaks.

“Aqua…”

“I-I’m sorry.” She says breathlessly, trying to focus on his question.

His heart beats gently beneath her palm. She feels every breath he makes, his life flowing into her. She’s lost in his eyes, trying to make sense of all of this.

“I worked hard for this, Aqua. I’ve gone through so much to get this back – I’m not going to throw it all away.”

He’s still staring into her, keeping her connected – she’s somewhere else, but she’s listening, she’s feeling what she needs to know.

“Can you promise me the same? …Aqua…?”

She waits a few beats before she’s snapped out of it, blinking a few times as she comes back to reality.

“Aqua…”

“I promise, Lea. I’m so tired – I just want this to be over. I want to be with you, I want to live a peaceful life surrounded by our loved ones. We can fight every so often – but not like this… Balance between our worlds is necessary – I’m willing to ensure that balance is kept, I’m required to. But I crave tranquility – I’d do anything for it.”

“We’ll get there.” He releases her hand, though she doesn’t move it. “I’m tired too, yunno. Maybe I’m just getting old. When you told me you wanted to be with me, some flip inside my head switched.”

Aqua leans forward, being brought into his warm and loving embrace.

“All I can think about lately is some sappy future with you. Initially, I was terrified of whatever was happening to me. Not – not of you, of course. But I’m still new to all this, don’t really know how it works or how I’m supposed to respond to any of it.”

He wraps his arms around her, holding her close, resting his cheek against her blue hair.

“Had this been a few years ago, I probably would’ve ran.” He laughs, “But I love you, Aqua. The more the idea sat with me, the more I realized how damn badly I wanted it. Now I want it so bad that it keeps me awake – that I can’t rest until it’s the reality I’m facing.”

“Then lets make it our reality. You can do this, Lea. I wont let you fall.”

“I know you wont. And I’m telling you that I’m not gonna let _me_ fall.” Lea smirks, pulling away from Aqua, shoving her bangs from her face. “And I may not be as powerful as you, but I’ll try like hell to back you up.”

“Don’t be so modest. You’re the fastest learner I’ve ever met – no other keyblade wielder has acquired so much skill as quickly as you have.”

“Well, I cheated a lil’ bit. Also I’m just old.” He flashes a sheepish grin at her, earning a giggle. “Are you satisfied with everything I just spilled out to you? At three-o-clock in the morning.”

“I’ll have to see how I feel in the morning.” She yawns, snuggling up to his chest once again. “I love you, Lea. And I’m going to keep loving you through all of this.”

“Who knew that fire and water would make such a weird, sappy romance novel?”

She kisses him softly, coaxing him back into bed. He’s back against the pillow before he knows it, cradling Aqua against him. Maybe telling her all of this would help him get some shut eye, he was sure training on hardly any sleep at all was going to reflect on his abilities.

“C’mon now. I know the _real_ Lea would sleep for 14 hours if he could.”

“A challenge?”

“I promise I wont wake you when I get up~”

“14 hours it is.”


End file.
